|What is Happiness?
Happiness can mean different things to different people. For example, for one person it may mean being in a relationship whereas for someone else it may mean feeling you have the ability to handle whatever life throws at you.
While you might think that there are certain things that make you happy (or could make you happy if you had them), research has shown that there are certain common traits amongst happy people - and it isn't necessarily what you might have thought.
What makes happy people happy?
You might think that happy people have lots of money, are physically attractive, have great jobs, or own the latest gadgets. Or, you might just think happy people are plain lucky and are born that way.
Research suggests, however, that there are a number of variables that make a far greater contribution to happiness than external and superficial factors.
That doesn't mean that if you have a lot of money you won't be happy- or that having a lot of money is bad, it just means that other factors are more important in determining happiness. In fact, a strong positive relationship between job status/income/wealth and happiness only exists for those who live below the poverty line and/or who are unemployed.
What distinguishes happy people from the unhappy is their attitude - they have a different way of thinking about things and doing things. They interpret the world in a different way, and go about their lives in a different way.
Why is happiness important?
This might seem obvious - why wouldn't you want to be happy?! But the implications are greater than you might think.
Happier people are generally healthier people - not only mentally, but also physically. So you can see than happiness is actually something that is really important, that you might want to increase if you can.
There is some evidence to support that we are all born with a certain "set-point" of happiness determined by our genes. This is supposed to change only slightly, if at all, as we get older. This contributes towards around 50% of our level of happiness.
So if something dramatic happens, for example, you win the lottery or break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, within a year or so (depending on the situation) your happiness level will return to its set point.
There is also some evidence to suggest that the circumstance we live in influence our level of happiness. You don't always have a lot of control over your circumstances (for example, we can't all live in mansions and drive new cars). Evidence suggests, however, that this accounts for only around 8-15% of our happiness levels, which really isn't that much.
This third factor is the most important factor in the equation because you can control it and in the process control your happiness. It includes all aspects of your life over which you have a relatively high degree of control including your thoughts and actions. This includes the way you choose to think about and act on the past, present, and future and seems to have quite a significant impact on how happy you are - if you do the math, it could be up to 42%!
- Past - When thinking about the past, people who are happier pay attention to what is 'good' about the past rather than focusing on the unhappy times. They are grateful, forgiving, and don't believe that the past will determine what happens in the future.
- Future - When it comes to thinking about the future, happy people are flexibly optimistic - what this means is that they are optimistic (in a realistic sense) about how their future is going to be but if it doesn't turn out that way, they know it's not going to be the end of the world either.
- Present - The way you think about and act in the present is also essential in determining how happy you are. This might include things such as taking pleasure in life and your surroundings, building and being in meaningful relationships, and the way we react to things in life, both good and bad.
For more information about the things you can control in your present which might help increase your happiness.
You do have control over your happiness
You can see from this equation that you do have control over your happiness. Even though a certain proportion of your happiness is beyond your out of your hands and is determined by genetics and by circumstances (which you can only control to a certain extent), you can increase your happiness level by focusing on those areas in your life that you can control.
You might choose to control your attitude, the way you choose to interpret situations, and the way you think about yourself. If you think about this, and the fact that it could be accountable for around 40% of your happiness, this could make a big difference in your life.
Does aiming to be happy mean, you cant be sad?
Not at all. In fact, going through times where you're sad can sometimes make that happiness all the brighter.
Sadness is a part of life, and sometimes it's even possible to feel happy and sad about something. For example, you might be happy to move out of home, but sad that you won't see the family, or your family dog as much any more.
You might even wonder whether it's possible, or OK to be happy, when there is so much suffering and injustice in the world. Happiness is natural, and it is possible to be compassionate and caring, and in tune with the sadness of the world while still experiencing happiness in your life. This awareness might even prompt you to act in a way to help improve the situation of others - an action which may actually increase your happiness.
Happiness - something that can be worked on
Happiness is something that means different things to different people. Overall it seems that happiness is influenced by the way we choose to think about ourselves, our place in the world, and the world around us and how we act in that world, that differentiates the happy people from the less happy people.
This is something that you actually have voluntary control over and that you can work on in your daily life. Not only that, but it can contribute to a large proportion of your happiness, as seen in the equation. It's up to you.
I wish you lots of happiness trough your whole life